Broken
by Tea Diva
Summary: Forced to wait in Costa del Sol while en route to Nibelheim, Zack must find a way to inform Sephiroth that Jeanette's mother, who is deathly ill, requested to see him. Off-shoot of my 'Behind Blue Eyes' series.


_Author's Note: The following takes place shortly before the end of _Behind Blue Eyes: Famous Monster.

Zack gazed at the strip of beach ahead, wishing that this stop in Costa del Sol would be like any other.

Better yet, like that _last_ time.

Sighing, he leaned against the ship railing. He had vague memories of indulging himself at the bar after a successful mission, and somehow ended up on the beach. Tseng had found him curled up on a beach chair wearing nothing but his boxers. While he grimaced at recalling the hangover that developed, and the lecture Tseng had given him, Zack would have taken both right now. His grip tightened on the letter that had not left his hand since their departure at Midgar. This visit would need the distraction alcohol provided.

Two weeks ago he had received a letter from Joanna, Jeanette's replacement as head nurse of SOLDIER. Zack had kept in touch with Jeanette's co-workers after Sephiroth cut himself off, for all shared the belief that she hadn't simply left them. Taking advantage of his traveling, they had asked him to look into any clues that might lead to her whereabouts. So far Zack hadn't been able to get back to Wutai- Lord Godo still had reservations about Shinra personnel- but one day, he vowed he'd make the time. He owed it to everyone who ever cared about Jeanette. Especially Sephiroth.

But how to tell him that her mother was dying, and she had specifically asked for him?

The ship entered the harbor then, scattering seagulls that had perched on the buoys. As passengers flooded the deck in preparation for departure, a young blond boy a few years' Zack's junior appeared at his shoulder. At seeing his apprehensive expression, Zack smiled wryly, his own troubles forgotten for the moment. "Don't like the beach much, Cloud?"

"Huh?" he said, starting like a spooked chocobo. "No, it's not that," he explained, looking a little abashed at Zack's smile. "The last time I was here, it was when I left to join SOLDIER. Didn't think I'd be back so soon."

"At least you didn't have to use any time off to go back home," Zack quipped cheerfully, referring to their upcoming mission in Nibelheim. "Me, I haven't been back for years. Mom keeps bugging me to visit." He turned to face Cloud, one hand on his hip. "Gonna see your folks?"

Cloud bowed his head. "My dad died. It's just my mom back home and I…" he trailed off and gave a deep sigh. "I was hoping to be in SOLDIER by now. You know, make her proud."

"Aw, she'll be glad to see you," Zack assured him, punctuating the remark with a hearty slap on the back. Cloud actually lurched forward a bit, and had to grip the railing for support. But he gave Zack a tiny smile as he said, "And she'll be proud. That's the great thing about moms. They love you no matter how much you screw up."

Cloud laughed. After a moment he smiled again, Zack not missing the faint blush coloring his pale cheeks. "Well, there's someone else back home, too. Someone-"

But Zack never did learn who that someone was. Cloud's face drained of color, and he stiffened. The footfalls at their backs were slow, accompanied by the familiar creak of shifting leather clothing. "We will be ashore soon," Sephiroth informed them curtly. "You are to assemble on the dock and await further instructions. Zack," he said, who tensed at his name, "you will stay with them."

"Sir," he answered in a monotone. Sephiroth then moved off, the crowd parting a little to let him pass.

Cloud, who had practically become one with the railing as Sephiroth went by, blew out a long breath. "Wow," he murmured, sounding almost giddy. Zack remembered his friend's admiration for Sephiroth. "He's so calm about everything. No wonder the company trusts him."

"I have to wonder about that," he muttered. At Cloud's questioning look Zack laid his hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. You just practice looking confident for your mom." He smiled knowingly. "If she sees you looking so down you'll never hear the end of it."

* * *

Later, Zack stood with Cloud and the second infantryman near the inn entrance. Sephiroth had vanished inside twenty minutes ago and had yet to come out. The two shifted uncomfortably, no doubt due to the oppressive heat, but Zack's discomfort was born from anxiety. He glanced at the path beyond the materia shop. Marie's house was a short jaunt away, and he had yet to come up with a clever enough reason to remain. Briefly he considered asking the infantryman to fake heat stroke, but knowing Sephiroth, he would leave the man behind. No, Zack needed a definitive reason, one not even Sephiroth's want for haste could contend.

Sephiroth chose that moment to appear, his usually stoic features hardened. This intrigued Zack, and as he came to attention he could hardly restrain himself when Sephiroth said, "Our transport broke down somewhere past Cosmo Canyon and has yet to arrive."

"When will it get here?" asked the infantryman as Zack silently thanked whatever fate had allowed so fortuitous a circumstance.

"Tomorrow at the earliest," Sephiroth replied, clearly irritated. "Director Lazard has booked us rooms for the night." He divided a stern look among the three. "We are still on duty. Act like it." And with that he turned on his heel and strode off.

Cloud and the infantryman began talking amongst themselves, but Zack didn't hear any of it. Something about Sephiroth's expression grabbed his attention. The flicker of emotion- pain, maybe- was real.

Making his excuses to the other two, and smiling at Cloud's remark about Sephiroth's earlier order, Zack hurried in the direction the other SOLDIER had gone. The trek took him past the crowded beach and around the bend. There, standing on the curved peninsula stretching into the sea, his head bowed, was Sephiroth. Zack made certain to slow his approach. Though fully capable of handling a good deal of physical pain, he did not wish to prematurely invite Sephiroth's ire. It was well within his capabilities to launch Zack halfway to Junon; he had to be cautious.

Sephiroth remained still for a very long time, so long in fact Zack wondered how the other man could withstand the heat. He reached up to tug at the thick collar of his shirt- the standard uniform _would_ have to be knit- and just as he pulled it away from his neck Sephiroth turned.

The flash of surprise in his gaze was brief before the stoic mask firmly settled into place. He narrowed his eyes. "You were to remain with the others."

Continued happiness from their good fortune, plus dedication to Jeanette, made Zack smile. "I was," he replied easily enough, "but I think I have to be here instead."

"Really." Sephiroth's response was flat, devoid of emotion. "I do not share that sentiment. If you'll excuse me."

Zack let him pass, reaching up to idly scratch the side of his nose before saying, in an almost casual tone, "You came here with Jeannie once."

The footsteps abruptly ceased. A long silence ensued, one Zack felt half certain would end with the Masamune in his back. But Sephiroth did not move. Seizing the chance, Zack turned and smiled at the other's back. "Yeah, she told me all about it. Well," he added, chuckling, "not _all_."

He waited, gauging Sephiroth's reaction. The taller man's head bowed just a bit, and his hands curled into fists. The sight of him trying so hard to hide his pain sobered Zack. "Look, Sephiroth," he murmured, approaching him slowly. "I don't know what happened to her and Riku. I wish I did. But you're not alone. A lot of us were hurt. _Are_ hurting," he amended, his throat tightening. He pulled the letter free and held it out. There was a tense moment before it was snatched from his hand. Again Zack waited, rigid with nerves, as Sephiroth read.

Time seemed to slow. When at last he finished he lowered his arm, the letter twitching ever so slightly in response to the trembling of his hand. Zack noticed the skin around Sephiroth's eyes and mouth had tightened. "I assume you know what this says," he murmured. His voice, usually so crisp in delivery, sounded strained, anguished.

"Yeah. I do," Zack admitted just as quietly, and dared to step closer. Curiosity gnawed at him, but something told him not to outright ask if Sephiroth would go. Doing so would certainly result in that ticket to the middle of the ocean.

Sephiroth bowed his head, his gaze focusing once again on the letter. Zack had the impression he didn't even see it. After a moment he handed it back. As Zack accepted it, the SOLDIER said, "Let me be alone."

Again he longed to ask if he'd go, and again that same instinct forbid him. Instead he nodded and turned to leave. As the joyous echo of frolicking sunbathers grew in decibel, Zack swore he heard a single, choked sob. Glancing back at the letter, he sighed deeply, shoved it into his pocket and kept going. He did not return to the inn. He planned to visit Marie himself- but not before a few stiff drinks.


End file.
